Survival of the Fittest

Well, global warming is an issue.  We should all know that by now.  And it is causing the disappearance of too many of the species that inhabit our planet.  And this disappearance is occurring at an alarming rate…

global warming

But rest assured, I know of at least one species that is safe.  And it will probably survive long past any nuclear holocaust and will be around even after our world “moves on.”

mushroom cloud

Nope, sorry cockroach…its not you, as frighteningly durable as you are!  Although this particular species manages to even make you look like a beauty pageant contestant, although you will probably still be Miss Congeniality, even next to this species!

giant cockroachmiss congeniality

Why yes, I am talking about…


None other than…da dum…the internet troll!


Yup, step up and take a bow, internet troll!  You have once again proven that you will not go extinct any time soon…woohoo, how awesome!

And congratulations on coming up with remarks about someone’s daughter that were sooooo rude and explicit that they would probably make a sailor blush…hey, survival of the fittest, right?


Curt Schilling having the nerve to say you need jail time?  Pish posh, what does he know?  You need to make your presence known, dammit, to continue to ensure survival and if the best way is to make remarks about rape, bloody underwear and other things that are just too disgusting to  mention on even this blog, so be it!  Again, survival of the fittest!  The species must proliferate!  Darwin said so!

Who cares if people kill themselves because they are being bullied?  Who cares if people have relationships, jobs and so forth that can be affected due to internet harassment?  And who really gives a crap if people may have information online that they expect to remain private, but you revealed that information when it wasn’t yours to share to begin with?  After all, they are just feelings, right?  And what kind of reasonable person expects themselves and their families to be safe online, just like how reasonable people expect themselves to safe walking down the street in broad daylight?  What’s more important, people’s safety and overall well being, or your need to ensure that you survive?  Even if someone feels that they have to do something drastic, like take his/her own life, or even just throw themselves on their bed in tears, due to your ugly actions, its all good!  You are surviving and thriving…we all need fuel, and you can’t help if hate just happens to be your fuel!

Oh, damn…a couple of you actually lost your jobs?  And oh no, now you have to explain to your family (and I will leave off friends, studs like you living in your mom’s basement are too cool for friends, obviously) why you lost your job…oh, the humanity!  Its unfair, you were just doing what you needed to do to survive, and the nerve of your job to actually discipline you…what do they know?  Obviously, the law doesn’t care and you have the right to exercise your first amendment rights and that right is more important than someone else’s right to safety and privacy…right?  You should be able to say whatever you want without impunity…after all…’Murica!

Yes, it will definitely be a sad world if you guys somehow stop proliferating.  Why do we want this world to be a nice place, after all?  Why would we want everyone, no matter their race, creed, religion, etc, to feel like they have a safe place to express themselves, if they so desire?  Obviously, there is such a thing as too safe, and no civilized society should be that!  So keep on doing what you’re doing, internet trolls…obviously, the world isn’t cruel enough to even the most vulnerable and disenfranchised, and we need you guys around to ensure that it is!

internet-troll 3



2 thoughts on “Survival of the Fittest

  1. Yeah, like complete strangers creepy-stalking your page and somehow bypassing your “Privacy” (HA) settings to write on your post IN MEMORIAM to your just-deceased precious furbaby “It died because you’re a bitch.” Absolutely stellar example of humanity there. Well done, you.


    • *Correction: “It died because YOUR [sic] a bitch.” Gosh darn, I wish at least ONE troll actually paid attention in elementary-school English class! But trolldom and low IQs seem to go hand-in-hand!


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