So, its time for Man Crush Monday, everyone!
You know, that custom where you talk about some guy you have a crush on but do it on Mondays, for the sake of alliteration?
Well, of course nothing will ever stop me, full time job and adult responsibilities be damned. But of course, there will be a twist. We all know that I tend to have crushes on fictional characters. And actual fictional characters. Not necessarily ones in movies and TV, although having a handsome actor portray one of my favorite characters certainly does not hurt!
But I am going to stick to the spirit of this blog (all things nerdy) and try to (mostly) focus on my favorite male characters in books I have read. After all, its about time these guys in fiction got some respect…someone worked very hard to create them and bring them to life, after all!
And let us start at the beginning. And for me, the beginning is none other than the master himself, Stephen King. King is one of the most talked about writers in my lifetime, and will probably be talked about long after I am gone. And he is one of my favorite writers. His stories have had a big impact on my life, especially the Dark Tower series, which also happens to be my favorite fantasy series of all time.
And surprise, surprise: King creates memorable characters. Even bigger surprise: some of these characters are men, and I have a crushes on a few (don’t worry, my marital agreement has a clause written into it that having a crush on a fictional guy does not count as cheating, as long as I come up for air from whatever book I have my nose in every now and again).
And when I said I was going back to the beginning, I meant I was going back to the beginning. The beginning of Roland Deschain’s journey, that is. Roland may be a little stuffy, but his friends sure are cute.
But the cutest of all Roland’s friends is none other than Cuthbert Allgood. And meet the subject of my first Man Crush Monday post:
Not bad, nope not bad at all, although I may be turning into a bit of a cougar with this one.
Full name: Cuthbert Allgood
Profession: Gunslinger, but favorite weapon is his slingshot.
Relationship status: Single, but has a companion that he refers to as his Lookout (a bird’s skull). He shares many intimate details with his Lookout. He also talks to his horse, Glue Boy, when the Lookout is not available. He will open up and share his insights
jokes with anyone he thinks has ears the right woman.
Hobbies: Loves to shoot arrogant, wannabe law enforcement officials with his slingshot, especially when the SOB threatens the life of a mentally disabled young man. Not afraid to hit vital body parts with his slingshot, especially hands. Also enjoys being a thorn in the side of his friend Roland, as he cannot stop cracking jokes and often is unable to stop talking (even when shot in the eye with an arrow).
Strengths: Will stand up for any type of injustice (see Hobbies above). Also has the ability to remember names and faces, which can come in handy for your unimaginative gunslinger friends. Extremely charismatic.
Weaknesses: Cannot. Stop. Talking. (see Hobbies) Also has a bit of a temper, and may speak out of turn to his friends. Often forgets that his friends may be sensitive about certain topics, like when his friend is having a forbidden affair with a beautiful girl who is actually promised to a nasty old man.
Quote of the day:
“I have no opinion. No, none at all. Opinion is politics, and politics is an evil which has caused many a fellow to be hung while he’s still young and pretty.”
So there you have it: Cuthbert Allgood, the subject of my first Man Crush Monday post! He may be a little young, but Cuthbert Allgood is always a great catch. He will keep things interesting, and there will never be a dull moment when he is around! He can’t be contacted via phone or email (Mid-World is a little behind the times, I have heard) but you can always send him a message via carrier pigeon!
Don’t forget to tune in next Monday, so we can spend some more time crushing on
imaginary unavailable but cute guys!