What Happens When You Frost a Dog Turd

My home state of Indiana has passed a new bill, all in the name of religious freedom.

You may have heard of it, actually.  People are talking about it, for some reason.

Even some famous writer guy is talking about it.  Not quite sure I remember the name, though.

And some people think that it just means you don’t have to make a cake for someone just because you don’t like their lifestyle choices.

chocolate cake

What a bummer…I mean, to deprive someone of cake?  Cake is always so delicious fire and brimstone is not a good flavor for cake, why would we want to deprive someone of it, even if they do stuff behind closed doors that you don’t agree with really none of your fucking business?

Oh, religious freedom…right.  Because, somehow, if you are a business owner, servicing people who do things on THEIR OWN PERSONAL TIME that you don’t do and don’t agree with inhibits your religious freedom.

So, why should you sell them a cake?  And according to this law, you don’t have to.  Yay for freedom!

And we keep coming back to cake.  As awesome as cake is, why should it get to have all the fun with this new law?

Everyone and everything should get to benefit from this new law!  And lets not leave out any religions…heck, lets make sure that atheism, the cult of the spaghetti monster, the cult of Cthulhu, devil worshippers, etc get their rights too…I mean, freedom, right?  RIGHT???


I work in the tax resolution industry and I represent clients before the IRS.  I am agnostic and generally do not agree with most of the tenets of Christianity.  So let me benefit from this new law…why should I have to prepare tax returns for a Christian?  I mean, I don’t agree with the idea that you have to attend church every Sunday and participate in all these rituals to be considered a good person.  No one is forcing me to attend or participate, but I DON’T AGREE WITH IT AND SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PREPARE THAT TAX RETURN BECAUSE I DON’T AGREE WITH IT, DAMMIT!!!

Or wait, I am an EMT.  I also worship Satan in my spare time (Lucifer is charismatic, what else can I say?)  Someone who is a Christian needs life saving services.  But…they are wearing a cross around their neck!  And that offends my Satanist sensibilities…why do Christians need to flaunt it so much?  Ew, no one want to see that…quit doing that stuff in public already!  Furthermore, I am not going to provide that Christian with any kind of medical service, even CPR!  That cross just grosses me out too much to do my job, so screw giving that filthy Christian any kind of life saving services!



So are you disturbed yet?

Or maybe you are outraged?  Really angry?

Or are you frightened?  Scared to death?  I mean, being denied medical services is pretty scary, right?  What human being in their right mind would do that?

Well, good!  Being disturbed, angry, frightened and scared to death is how you should feel!

Imagine how the LGBT community feels right now.  I bet every one of them is outraged, frightened and perhaps scared to death right now.

Someone could deny them needed services, like having their tax returns prepared.  All because the tax preparer now has freedom to practice their religion, and discrimination is part of that freedom, according to laws like these.

Or maybe it will cross over from the annoying (being denied tax preparation services) into deadly. That’s right, deadly.  Denying life saving CPR to someone because of their sexual orientation is deadly, in my book.  And while someone may be able to go to another bakery for their wedding cake, another tax preparation firm, etc (often this is the argument), when can someone find another hospital when they have been in a deadly car wreck or house fire and need life saving services?  Yeah, not really an option, is it?  So lets throw out the “go somewhere else” argument out the window right now, because that argument is as dead as a door nail.

This law is way beyond not wanting to bake a cake for a couple.  Or serve them a pizza for that matter.  And I am sure most members of the LGBT community realize this, and they are right to be frightened at the implications.  For the implications are frightening.  No one, of any race, creed, color, religious affiliation or sexual orientation should have to fear that they or a member of their families should be denied any kind of service, vital or otherwise.

Our country was founded on freedom.  Freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom to bear arms, etc.

And I believe our founding fathers had a multitude of other freedoms in mind when the Constitution was written.  Freedom for all people (including the LGBT community) to be able to be themselves.  Freedom to do whatever you want in your house, behind closed doors with two (or however many) consenting adults.

But freedom does not include discrimination.  Practicing your religion how you see fit does not mean that you can deny services to anyone (essential or otherwise).  Unlike many other parts of the world, we are incredibly privileged to be able to practice our religion and not (literally) lose our heads.  This is not so in many other parts of the world.  And I bet that if you asked anyone who has actually been persecuted for their religious beliefs, that he/she would not list being able to discriminate against others as part of the privileges in a truly free society.  I would imagine keeping one’s head would be on the list instead.

Queen of Hearts


To paraphrase that writer guy again, dog turds are dog turds.  We don’t need them to have our freedom in this country.  Moreover, we do not need to frost the dog turds.  Dog turds, frosted or not, are not necessary in a country with as many privileges as we are afforded in this one.  And states like Indiana would do well to remember that fact.






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