19 Dark Tower Moments

Well, howdy, folks!

Or more appropriately, hile, folken!

In other words, life gets…

Well, lifey sometimes, I suppose.

And what’s a nerd to do when life hands her its lifey-est?

Well, if you said grab the best fantasy series ever, written by The Master and delve back into for the whatever-eth time, you would be…

I’ll take correct, for $19, Alex!

As if both er all of my readers need to be reminded as to what blog they are reading…

So yeah, you bet your fur (or should that be your billy-bumblers pelt) that when you need an escape, The Dark Tower series by Stephen King is just the ticket!

(Of course, hot chocolate sprinkled with nutmeg would make a great accompaniment, wink, wink…)

Now, I have already reviewed all of the books in the series when I did my literary keg stand a few years ago.

But, I love writing about this series so much!

And there is so much to unpack.  I don’t think anyone could ever write too much about The Dark Tower series.

EVAH.

So here I am,ready, at your disposal, ready to provide you with…

More written content about the series, ya perv!

Anyway, I have come up with a list of moments in the series.

Wait for it…

Nineteen moments!

(Nineteen moments.  See what I did there?)

*Casually pats self on the back for being able to make it approximately three blog minutes without bringing up the number 19*

So yes, another list!  My INTJ attempts to inconspicuously wipe the drool from her face…mmmm, lists…

No particular order on this list, although don’t hold me to that statement (it’s still early, only 7 or so blog minutes.)

These moments are varied, and are pulled from all the books in the series.

Some are funny.

Some are head scratchers.

More than a few are tragic (we all know that reading almost anything written by The Master is a form of self-punishment.  But oh so worth it.)

But all of these moments were selected because they stand out, for whatever reason.

So, let’s quit beating on Sheemie’s mule, and get to it.

Time to count down nineteen of the most memorable moments of The Dark Tower series!

Oh, and before I forget:

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Castle Rock: Episode 4 Recap and Review

Sometimes, you take that relaxing drive through the country.

Everything is going as planned and you drive along, enjoying the scenery.

But then, you take that left turn.

And you are no longer enjoying the scenery, per se.

You are no longer enjoying the scenery because it is not an idyllic countryside.

You happen upon a car accident, which you still look at, because it’s a car wreck, so your eyes are drawn to it.

But the tone of the drive has changed, due to that car accident.

It is still entertaining, but more in the way of your eyes stayed glued to the scene, as opposed watching the scenery go by.

This hypothetical car accident is a perfect analogy of what has happened to the show Castle Rock.

The first three episodes had the viewer on cruise, more or less.

Even though the show is creepy and mysterious (after all, it is part of the Stephen King universe), the viewer was somewhat comfortable and thought that he/she knew what to expect.

However, the fourth episode, titled The Box, changed all of that.

The show had its hypothetical (and really bloody and even tragic) car accident.

And now, we have to watch.  We can’t look away.

And I love it.

So join me in the recap and review of The Box.

And, as always:

 

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Castle Rock: Episode 1 Recap and Review

It is always such a treat when your favorite writer publishes a new book.

Me, I pace around, almost like an expectant father in the delivery room, anxiously waiting.

And via the magic of technology, the book appears on my Tablet the next day, ready for me to savor, whenever I am ready.

Now, of course, my favorite writer is Stephen King…Captain Obvious strikes again, right?

And we are still fortunate to be receiving the gifts of The Master’s books on a fairly regular basis.

This year we received The Outsider.  And Elevation will be published this fall.

All in all, not bad.

But when I heard that Hulu would release a TV series this year, set in the Stephen King universe and produced by JJ Abrams, my interest was piqued.

So we are, for all intents and purposes, getting a new Stephen King book, set in the same universe, with some familiar characters, as well as plenty of new characters.  This may not have King’s name on the by-line, but it is set in his expansive universe and has the feel of his books, but is not a book, but an anthology TV series instead…

Well, how can we go wrong with that?

And not only is it set in the King universe, but is titled Castle Rock, King’s other notorious town, the one that probably advertises that its main attraction is the fact that it is not inhabited by a trans-dimensional demon doing a poor impersonation of a clown.

Again, how is this a bad thing?

I have watched one episode of Castle Rock so far, and I can tell you that this is not a bad thing.  Far from it, in fact.

So, come with me to Castle Rock, where we break down and analyze the first episode, titled Severance.

And, as always:

 

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Mr. Mercedes: Episode 1 Recap and Review

Sometimes, I think the Chinese New Year needs an update.

Sure, the animals are cute and all, but why limit yourself to animals?

There are plenty of other interesting things we can use and rotate out for each year.

I mean, horror movie stuff and horror movie icons would work, right?

Like 1979 could be the year of The Creature from the Black Lagoon, in honor of my ex husband!

So, what would 2017 be?

I know, I know…

The year of…

Stephen King!

Yeah, I know…

*insert quizzical look of surprise right about here*

2017 has been the year of the Stephen King revival, although to Constant Constant Readers like me, he has always been appreciated, even (or especially) when we wake up in the middle of the night, with the sheets covered in sweat, the dogs expressing their terror for you (of you…)

Well, maybe that last part is just me.

But one thing is for certain:  Stephen King has never really gone away.  The obsession, along with the books being published, may ebb and flow.  But King is, and will continue to be, a huge part of our culture.

He may write “scary” stories, but he is also our literary Everyman, and someone who actually makes America great.  Actually, he has been making America great for the past 40 years or so, minus the tacky red baseball cap.

But 2017 has seen a great resurgence.  And who am I to complain?  Like potato chips and bad 80’s horror movies, there is no such thing as too much Stephen King!

The Dark Tower movie made its long awaited debut.

Gwendy’s Button Box, a beautiful collaboration with Richard Chizmar, was published this spring.

Sleeping Beauties, another collaboration with Owen King (kid needs to earn his Master chops), will be published this fall.

Next month, Pennywise the Clown will terrorize those meddling kids on the big screen.

The small screen has also gotten its share of The Master.

Mr. Mercedes is another creation of King that has made its debut in 2017.

Mr. Mercedes is unique in that it may be a detective crime drama, something that one would NEVER associate with King, the creator of homicidal clowns, rabid St. Bernards and possessed 1958 Plymouth Fury vehicles.

However, despite the different format, Mercedes still has King’s finger prints all over it, from the Easter eggs (within the first 15 minutes or so of the pilot we find one of those) to the themes, aka human monsters who are far more capable of horrific acts than any homicidal clown or rabbit St. Bernard.

I watched the pilot this week, and my skin crawled.  That is a good thing, in case you can’t tell.

So, without any further ado, here is my recap and review of the pilot episode of Mr. Mercedes.

And, as always:

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A Box Full of Surprises: My Review of Gwendy’s Button Box

So, we are almost halfway through 2017.

And what a hell of a year it has been.;.

Well, the above is part of it, although this has really been a hell that has been a long time in the making…

But let me get back to the topic:  Hell!

And the good kind of hell.

Not talking about the kind that involves Cenobites, either!  I am not sure that I have the stamina to take that kind of hell!

No, I am talking about…

Wait for it…

Stephen King!

I mean, duh, right?  Is there any other kind of hell to talk about in this blog?

So yes, it is a hell of a year to be a Stephen King fan.

The television series The Mist will premiere soon.

The miniseries based on the novel Mr. Mercedes will also premiere this summer.

In August, our favorite gunslinger will finally come to life!

And September will see my childhood nightmare  a certain famous (or is it infamous) homicidal clown will star in his own movie, along with the gang of bad ass kids tasked to fight this clown.

We even get a second season of the show Stranger Things on October 31st (well played Duffer brothers, well played.)  I mean, it’s Stranger Things, which is a bonus King story, amirite?

In other words, we are in the era of Stephen King 2.0.

Is it 1987, or 2017?

I mean, the hair may be smaller, but that is about the only way I can tell the difference (well, the home decor is less tacky, maybe) between the two.

Once again, King is ubiquitous.  But then again, he is The Master, and that is what Masters do, when they aren’t doing other Master-y stuff, like getting blocked on Twitter by leaders of the free world who turn orange from the overdose on covfefe.  Or eating chocolate candy at an alarming rate.

(Wait, scratch that last part.  I put a little TMI about myself in this blog again, dammit!)

But anyway, it is the era of Stephen King 2.0.  And of course this nerdy blogger could not be happier!

Because, movies and TV shows!  And merchandise!

And oh, right…books!

We still have those coming out!  Books!

Like the latest King book, aka Gwendy’s Button Box.

But this is no ordinary King book (as if his books were ordinary anyway!)

This book is actually a collaboration between The Master and…

Another Master?

I think so!

Richard Chizmar teamed with King to write this novel…a gruesome twosome!

Seriously, a double threat much?

And this is one collaboration that is hellishly awesome, and one of my favorite short works in King’s extensive library.

So, without further ado, let us get down to business, so we can review and dissect Gwendy’s Button Box.

And, as always:

 

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Live Nerdiness 3.0: Car Talk!

Join me and one of my fellow nerds, as we talk Christine (both book and movie), as well as some of the other happenings in the world of The Master!

 

http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/jeremy-lloyd/dark-tower-radio

The Great Race: My Review of The Running Man

Lately, the world has been a bit topsy-turvy.

Maybe I am looking at it through a looking glass

Or did Barry Allen make an ill-advised trip, and travel back in time, so now that we have a paradox on our hands, so to speak?

(Not to be confused with our beloved Earth 2, where science accelerates at a rapid rate, and villains are the mayors of cities and heroes are well…kinda douchebags, actually.)

Maybe I traveled into an alternate reality, where Superman is the adopted son of undocumented migrant workers, and has a really, really close relationship with Zod, and Batman is literally backwards, and kind of sucks…

Well, actually no.

Not that I am knocking on any of the above, and wouldn’t be open to a little possible experimentation…

Although I could argue that Barry Allen and his ill-advised time travel has had some kind of effect on my reality…

After all, the Cubs are World Series champions!

And we may not have Leonard Snart as mayor, but hey, we have a Cheeto for president! So maybe that time travel did do something!

Now, if only it had won me the lottery…

Or at least given me cool super powers!

Okay, back on topic…

I have actually traveled to alternate reality, even though that trip to Earth 2 is still on my bucket list.

In other words, I have read a book written by that Bachman fella…

Well, I am really not sure if those guys are one in the same, even if that whole story about death from cancer of the pseudonym is slightly suspicious…

Hey, you never know.  If young boys and and middle-aged priests can “die” in one world, and be re-born into another (cooler) world, maybe writers can be stricken with cancer of the pseudonym, and end up being re-born on the Sons of Anarchy level of the Tower, where the writer in question takes a grisly sort of janitorial type of job, collecting macabre souvenirs as a form of payment…

Okay, again back on topic.

So, I read a Stephen King book.

Yeah, water is wet, the sun rises in the east, and Cheetos make terrible leaders of the free world…

So what else is new?

Well, this book is actually new, at least somewhat.

As most of us probably know, early in his career, The King of Horror decided that he would like to write non-horror stories, every now and again.

While King has actually written some fantastic books that can be classified as not horror (The Talisman, 11/22/63, Different Seasons and The Eyes of the Dragon all readily come to mind), early on his career, he was bound by some silly rules about how many books he could publish in a year.

Somebody thought that there was such a thing as too many Stephen King books!  And they thought I was the crazy one!

So King did what any sensible King of Horror would do.  He created a pseudonym.

As far as I know, this pseudonym did not come to life and murder people, forcing a flock of birds to be called, so they could carry him off, kicking and screaming.

(However, if he is employed by the friendly folks known as SAMCRO, all bets are off, as you gotta do what you gotta do to survive over there in the charming town of Charming, California.)

King named this pseudonym Richard Bachman.  And for a while, that Bachman fella did pretty well for himself.

He wasn’t a horror writer, per se.  No, Bachman explored the darkness of human nature.  Man’s inhumanity to man, in other words.

He wrote of violence at school, corporate greed and of a dystopian government, that might actually not be fiction at this point.

And Bachman also wrote of our obsession with television, and our need to be constantly entertained, even at the expense of the feelings (and maybe even lives) of our fellow man.

In other words, I am currently reading The Running Man.

Dicky Bachman has come out to play.

So let’s indulge him, as we read and dissect The Running Man.

And, as always:

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