Oh yay, its Monday again! Since I really missed not having Monday for a week…NOT!!!
Really. my home cat had the right idea this morning…
Don’t I wish I could join him. However, someone has to work and support his greenie habit.
And there are other reasons to get out of bed on Monday morning any way…
Like…you guessed it…Man Crush Monday!
And you know you’ve missed that over the past week and you really want to read about literary characters whom this really nerdy blogger crushes on, right? Right? RIGHT???
In fact, you would do anything to get your fill of Man Crush Monday, in the style of this blog. Anything at all…
Like maybe sling a little mud on your neighbor’s sheets…
Or if that’s not your style, maybe just have your pesky pseudonym that won’t stay dead, even though you had a funeral for him and everything, for gosh’s sakes, wreck havoc until I bow to your needs?
Well, maybe you aren’t that desperate for my blog posts (but its cool if you are, nerds don’t judge) but folks in a certain town in Maine sure have gotten that desperate.
Yes, I am talking about none other than the fine town of Castle Rock, Maine. Of course Castle Rock could be located than no place other than the nice, calm perfectly normal
the sarcasm is strong in this one Stephen King universe!
Castle Rock certainly is the hot bed for odd happenings, to say the least…
I mean, sparrows carrying some guy who technically should not exist away (although don’t tell him that, he would be likely kill you in a really gruesome manner with no further questions asked).
Or people losing their minds over items in a certain shop…you could say maybe that they got a little needful, perhaps?
In case you haven’t figured it out by now, I am talking about Needful Things and The Dark Half, both written by the illustrious Stephen King.
Obviously, both of these take place in King’s (unfortunately) fictional town of Castle Rock. In The Dark Half, a writer’s pseudonym some how comes to life (this was probably King working out his feelings over poor Dickie Bachman and his unfortunate, early death due to cancer of the pseudonym).
And then we have Needful Things. Needful Things is one part Wall Street, one part Something Wicked This Way Comes and all horror as only King could bring us. Like I said before, folks went a little crazy. Scratch that…people basically lost their fucking minds! Over things in a shop! For some reason, people thought they were getting something valuable…gives new meaning to the phrase “one man’s junk is another man’s treasure.”
But every villain has a hero (or sometimes five). Even if said villains are ones who shouldn’t technically exist, or ones who exist but no one can explain their existence…
Well, its not quite Batman that I’m talking about here, although I am sure he could have a good time in Castle Rock when Gotham doesn’t need him!
No, I am talking about Alan Pangborn, the lucky subject of this week’s Man Crush Monday!
Every city needs a hero, and
Batman Alan Pangborn was able to fill that void nicely for Gotham Castle Rock.
“He’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we’ll hunt him. Because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.” – Lt. James Gordon
Well, I don’t think Sheriff Pangborn had quite the resources
money but like Batman, he did do his best to be the hero that Castle Rock deserved in its times of crisis. Or was it the hero Castle Rock needed? Er, who knows?
And like Batman, Alan Pangborn was fallible. As in he almost fell for this guy’s tricks…
But that’s the cool thing about Batman er Alan Pangborn…he is human! And humans can be taken down with something far less exotic than Kryptonite! In other words, we can identify with guys like Bruce Wayne and Alan Pangborn. On some level, they are us. And we are them. And they give us hope, as these guys do strive to do what’s right, and protect their fellow man.
So here you go ladies, here is Alan Pangborn, the subject of this week’s Man Crush Monday!
Name: Alan Pangborn
Profession: Sheriff of Castle Rock. Was promoted to position after the rather messy death of his predecessor.
Relationship status: Widowed tragically young, but is now in a relationship with owner of You Sew and Sew. That relationship has had its rough patches, but both parties now recognize that third parties do more harm than good!
Friends: Polly Chalmers (see relationship status)
Norris Ridgewick. Police officers do form a brotherhood after all.
Netitia Cobb. Like Batman, he is willing to fight for the under dog.
Enemies: Again, like Batman, Alan Pangborn also has a few enemies:
George Stark. See section on pseudonyms that won’t die.
Ace Merrill. Unlike a certain accountant, Ace was rightfully sent to Shawshank State Prison by Alan Pangborn.
Leland Gaunt. Neighbor to his lover’s shop but definitely not a friendly neighbor. However, their are rumors that people will kill for the items in that shop. Bark is definitely worse than his bite, as he does tend to fall for parlor tricks.
Hobbies: Magic and sleight of hand tricks. Often entertains his coworkers. Even better, it entertains sick, hospitalized children. Also, see section on enemies.
So there you have it, ladies…this week’s subject for Man Crush Monday! I hear he may be up for traveling, but don’t expect him to ever make a trip to Junction City, Iowa! And I don’t think he has anything against animals, but there is no love lost between Alan Pangborn and sparrows! Wherever he is, he will become the hero that city deserves…or is that the hero that city needs?
And that’s it for this week’s edition of Man Crush Monday! Join me next week, where we will fantasize some more about unavailable literary characters!