The Great Race: My Review of The Running Man

Lately, the world has been a bit topsy-turvy.

Maybe I am looking at it through a looking glass

Or did Barry Allen make an ill-advised trip, and travel back in time, so now that we have a paradox on our hands, so to speak?

(Not to be confused with our beloved Earth 2, where science accelerates at a rapid rate, and villains are the mayors of cities and heroes are well…kinda douchebags, actually.)

Maybe I traveled into an alternate reality, where Superman is the adopted son of undocumented migrant workers, and has a really, really close relationship with Zod, and Batman is literally backwards, and kind of sucks…

Well, actually no.

Not that I am knocking on any of the above, and wouldn’t be open to a little possible experimentation…

Although I could argue that Barry Allen and his ill-advised time travel has had some kind of effect on my reality…

After all, the Cubs are World Series champions!

And we may not have Leonard Snart as mayor, but hey, we have a Cheeto for president! So maybe that time travel did do something!

Now, if only it had won me the lottery…

Or at least given me cool super powers!

Okay, back on topic…

I have actually traveled to alternate reality, even though that trip to Earth 2 is still on my bucket list.

In other words, I have read a book written by that Bachman fella…

Well, I am really not sure if those guys are one in the same, even if that whole story about death from cancer of the pseudonym is slightly suspicious…

Hey, you never know.  If young boys and and middle-aged priests can “die” in one world, and be re-born into another (cooler) world, maybe writers can be stricken with cancer of the pseudonym, and end up being re-born on the Sons of Anarchy level of the Tower, where the writer in question takes a grisly sort of janitorial type of job, collecting macabre souvenirs as a form of payment…

Okay, again back on topic.

So, I read a Stephen King book.

Yeah, water is wet, the sun rises in the east, and Cheetos make terrible leaders of the free world…

So what else is new?

Well, this book is actually new, at least somewhat.

As most of us probably know, early in his career, The King of Horror decided that he would like to write non-horror stories, every now and again.

While King has actually written some fantastic books that can be classified as not horror (The Talisman, 11/22/63, Different Seasons and The Eyes of the Dragon all readily come to mind), early on his career, he was bound by some silly rules about how many books he could publish in a year.

Somebody thought that there was such a thing as too many Stephen King books!  And they thought I was the crazy one!

So King did what any sensible King of Horror would do.  He created a pseudonym.

As far as I know, this pseudonym did not come to life and murder people, forcing a flock of birds to be called, so they could carry him off, kicking and screaming.

(However, if he is employed by the friendly folks known as SAMCRO, all bets are off, as you gotta do what you gotta do to survive over there in the charming town of Charming, California.)

King named this pseudonym Richard Bachman.  And for a while, that Bachman fella did pretty well for himself.

He wasn’t a horror writer, per se.  No, Bachman explored the darkness of human nature.  Man’s inhumanity to man, in other words.

He wrote of violence at school, corporate greed and of a dystopian government, that might actually not be fiction at this point.

And Bachman also wrote of our obsession with television, and our need to be constantly entertained, even at the expense of the feelings (and maybe even lives) of our fellow man.

In other words, I am currently reading The Running Man.

Dicky Bachman has come out to play.

So let’s indulge him, as we read and dissect The Running Man.

And, as always:

Continue reading

Man Crush Monday for 5/11/15

Good morning everyone, and happy Monday to all!

Well, that’s an oxymoron.  Especially when this adorable little turd decides to make an ungodly mess when I am in the OMGIamrunninglateforworkanddon’thavetimetocleanupanastymess mode…

Duncan 3

I had to clean up a combo of dog shit and pieces of a shredded blanket.  Just don’t ask, that’s just how I roll because I am awesome like that!  Aren’t Mondays grand?

Well, maybe Mondays aren’t so grand (and the combo of dog shit and shredded blanket covered in dog drool on the floor you just mopped yesterday is never grand) but there is one good thing about Mondays…

Yep, Man Crush Monday in the extremely nerdy style of this blog!  Alex, we have a winner!

keep-calm-its-man-crush-monday

I have mentioned before that outlaws are kind of cool…there can be something about bad boys that is just so hot!

Especially when the bad boy belongs to an outlaw biker gang, but the bad boy really does have good heart and is just misunderstood, dammit!

Jax-2

Dreamy…just dreamy…

Ok, back on topic, this is a post about Stephen King, after all!

But law enforcement guys can be kind of hot, sometimes.  Especially when they are more outlaw than law

JUSTIFIED: Timothy Olyphant as Raylan Givens. CR: Frank Ockenfels III / FX

And really know how to wear a pair of jeans.  After all, wearing a pair of jeans is an art form that few have perfected!

JUSTIFIED: Timothy Olyphant in the season finale of JUSTIFIED airing Tuesday, June 8 (10:00PM ET/PT) on FX. CR: Prashant Gupta / FX

Ok, ok…back to Stephen King again.  Need to stay on topic after all.  Although Raylan Givens may actually give a certain friendly neighborhood gunslinger a run for his money…

Roland 2

Actually, law enforcement guys don’t always need to be more outlaw than law to be hot.  Sometimes, the truly good guys are actually the hottest guys.  Think about it:  they don’t play games with you.  They are honest and will always give you the truth.  They make you feel safe and protected.  And the mark of a really good guy:  he doesn’t judge.  Acceptance of another person, no matter the other person’s past, perceived shortcomings, faults.  Acceptance is hot, after all!

Which brings me to the topic of this week’s Man Crush Monday…

Ladies, I give to you…Jack Sawyer!

It is true that Jack was 12 years old when we first met him in The Talisman.  And we rooted for him, and feared for him.  We hoped that everything would turn out ok for little Jacky, and for the most part, it did.

But then Jacky grew up, as evidenced in the sequel to The TalismanBlack House.  In other words, now he is legal.  And its perfectly ok to have a crush on someone as long as they are legal!

Daniel Radcliffe

And Jack grew up to be a law enforcement officer coppiceman.  He became one of the good guys.  And never really an outlaw, either.  Jack always wants to do what is right and will risk his life to do so.  And he will always protect the underdog, again at the risk of his own life.  Jack is not just a good cop, he is a knight in shining armor.  And there is nothing wrong with knights in shining armor!

knight

Jack is special.  Very special.  But then again, spending time in the wacky wonderful world of The Territories and seeing all kinds of strange sights will make someone turn into a special person (although I don’t think Jack needed that much help in that department).  More importantly, it will turn a curious, inquiring boy into an open-minded, accepting adult.  And open-minded, accepting people are just sexy!

So without further ado, I give you Jack Sawyer, the subject of this week’s lusting after fictional characters that we will never have a chance with!


 

Name:  Jack Sawyer.  Aliases include Travelin’ Jack, Jacky and Jacky Boy.  Was also known as Jason, but that was in another lifetime (literally).

Occupation:  Police officer, although he mysteriously retired after a seemingly minor incident in Los Angeles.   Sometimes he will still do pro bono work.

Relationship status:  In love with a married woman…sort of.  Actually, he is love with her Territories Twinner.  In other words, its complicated!

Family: Mother:  Lily Cavanaugh Sawyer (d).  However, queen bees don’t die easily.

Father: Phillip Sawyer (d).

Friends:  Jack may be a loner, but even loners sometimes need a little help from their friends.

Richard Sloat.  Richard also has some family issues.

Wolf.  Because…bromance!

wolf and jack

Speedy Parker.  Speedy plays the Jim to Jack’s Huck.

Huck-Finn-003

Parkus.  See entry on Speedy.  Also see entry on Twinners.

Speedy 1

Henry Leyden.  Being blind does not mean you don’t see everything that is going on around you.

Enemies:  Even good cops have a few:

Morgan Sloat:  See entry on Richard’s family issues.

Sunlight Gardner.  Sometimes, what looks like to be a home for wayward boys is a hell on earth.  And that hell is not even limited to Earth.

sunlight_gardener_by_nekomell-d5hncx8

Morgan of Orris:  See entry on Morgan Sloat.  Also see entry on Twinners.

morgan sloat

 

 

Charles Burnside.  Since serial killers who target children and do unspeakable things to be them ought to be everyone’s enemy.

Mr. Munshun.  The only thing worse than a serial killer who targets children is the demon that helps him do it.  Especially when that demon is in the business of kidnapping children with PSI abilities and sending them over to the Crimson King so that those poor children can begin their future careers as Breakers.

gorg_and_mr_munshun


 

So there we have it…Jack Sawyer!  And ladies, you are in for a treat, as Jack Sawyer is unique.  He is one of a kind.  Really, he is one of a kind and you will literally not find anyone who comes close to being Jack Sawyer…he has no Twinner!   All the more reason anyone who gets their hands on Jack needs to keep him close, or at least close to The Territories (I hear travel may now be problematic for poor Jack).

So that wraps up this week’s edition of Man Crush Monday!  Tune in next week, as we lust after more fictional characters that we will never have a chance with, like the nerds we are!

attracting-emotionally-unavailable-men-pic-2