My latest video on my YouTube channel, where I discuss and break down the first season of Stranger Things!
My latest video on my YouTube channel, where I discuss and break down the first season of Stranger Things!
Well, it looks like 2017 has come and gone.
Actually, am I a little late? Since it seems like we are actually well into 2018…
HI GUYS! YOUR NERD IS BACK! MISS ME MUCH???
Yeah, the hiatus has been long. Life has been getting the way…
And you don’t even want to know how much time I had to spend fighting the Todash monsters!
So yeah, 2017 was Stephen King 2.0. And if you are gonna have a 2.0 of anything, make sure it is a continuation of the story, not just a rehash…
(We all know my feelings on sequels.)
King was back, and this round of King was at least as good as the 80’s hey day, and may even have been better. And I don’t often say that about sequels and reboots!
2017 showed King in all of his forms:
We had the King of horror, in the movie It.
We had the King of fantasy, in the Dark Tower movie.
We had the King of stories about women, in the Netflix adaptation of Gerald’s Game, and the publication of the novel Sleeping Beauties, co-authored by the prince, aka Owen King. 2017, coincidentally, was the year of #metoo. Or maybe not so coincidentally, as a famous character reminds us: coincidence has been cancelled, sugar.
I could go on and on, actually…
We even have some things that don’t officially have King’s name on them, but still feel like they are part of the sequel that was 2017.
All things serve The Beam, after all..
But, let’s get back on topic.
I may not have spent copious amounts of time on this little old blog talking about the year of The King, but that does not mean that 2017 went unnoticed.
On the contrary, in fact.
Actually, I reveled in it.
There is just something about being an adult with the maturity to really enjoy the nuances of a Stephen King story.
Of course, a Netflix subscription doesn’t hurt either!
So, I am making this entry to recap and talk a little about some of the year of The King.
Obviously, I can’t get through it all in one entry, but I can at least talk about the highlights.
After all, it doesn’t cost anything to just talk about the highlights, right?
(Totally written in my Leland Gaunt voice, by the way.)
So buckle in (hopefully you are not strapping yourself into a 1958 Plymouth Fury.)
And get ready to talk about our favorite boogeyman (and some of his boogeyman friends), Stephen King!
And, as always:
So, guys and ghouls, it is that time of year again…
Well, yes it is football season, but that was not what I was referring too. I mean, do you think I want to be scared into a change pants? Come on, now!
Well, actually I do. And watching Indianapolis Colts football is one way to be scared, although many other emotions tend to be involved, which include extreme anger, exhilaration, puzzlement, denial, bargaining and resignation.
But, there are lots of other things that I can watch, other than Colts football, if I don’t want to experience the different stages of grief in a four hour setting (NFL math is funny that way: one hour of football somehow turns into four hours yelling myself horse (you are welcome for that one) in front of my TV.)
In other words: horror movies. Horror movies everywhere…
At this time of year, I feel that autumn is right around the corner. And this starts right after Labor Day, when the Christmas merchandise at the stores is on display!
And to counter the sight of Christmas decorations when the temperature is still at least 90 F, there is only one thing we can do…
That’s right, watch some horror movies. Or maybe lots of horror movies. All right, a metric shit ton of horror movies!
And so many movies to choose from.
Or, we don’t have to limit ourselves to movies. There are plenty of good, horror themed shows not titled American Horror Story to chose from. And most are available via the miracle of the 21st century otherwise known as Neflix. Cable schmable, right?
Now, one thing about horror movies: they seem to have an audience. And no, not necessarily horror junkies.
Let’s face it: most horror movies are geared towards white males. That is often who your horror movie protagonist is, with a few exceptions, like Night of the Living Dead, which was decades ahead of its time for featuring an African American guy as its protagonist.
And it’s not to say that those movies are not good movies. In fact, movies like Phantasm (I dare you to cross The Tall Man, boooyyyy!), The Shining, Horns and many others are either classics, or on their way to becoming classics. And I have no problem with that, they are great movies and deserve their accolades.
But, I feel like I am missing something when I watch certain movies. In fact, I feel like I may be missing at least half of something…
That’s right, where are my ladies? I mean, we make up half the population, right? So where are we? Where are we in one of my favorite movie genres?
Well, it turns out that if take the time (after all, rushing us is bad, on so many levels, haha) and look, you can find us ladies in horror movies. And some bad ass ones at that!
In recent years, we have become even easier to find in the horror, genre and science fiction categories. After all, Game of Thrones, anyone? Plenty of kick ass women there!
And The Master and The Master 2.0 have gotten in on the act, as both Stephen King and Joe Hill have managed to write convincing female characters, who have an identity beyond the wife or girlfriend of the guy who winds up kicking ass.
So, if you look, we are there in horror movies. Sometimes we get horribly victimized. Sometimes we victimize others. But other times, we throw down some serious shade, and you do not want to meet us in a dark alley!
With that being said, here is my list of top 10 women in horror (both on television and film.) Keep in mind that this is my opinion only, and could be subject to change at any moment…
And, as always:
Well, I may be a little biased with this statement, but I will say it anyway:
And as soon as we have enough freckles, we plan to take over the world!
Okay, I am kidding (you hope.)
But this entry on my list has earned her spot on it. And yes, she just happens to be a ginger.
Guys and ghouls, I bring to you…Sally!
Now, Sally may literally owe her existence to a man. However, do not underestimate her, as she is tough, smart and resourceful.
After all, a chic who clearly knows her poisons. Who would want to cross her?
Sally is a love interest in the movie The Nightmare Before Christmas (and one half of one of one my favorite onscreen couples ever), but to me, she is so much more than that.
For most of her life, Sally is held in captivity by her creator. She understands that that she may be selling herself short, and she works to build a life for herself beyond captivity, and to connect with the outside world in a meaningful way.
Sally also brings a message of self-acceptance. After all, she literally falls apart, but that doesn’t stop her from picking herself back up and continuing on with her life. That message of self-acceptance is one that Jack Skellington badly needs to hear, as he finally accepts that it is okay to be the Pumpkin King, and leave “Sandy Claws” to those who are better qualified for that job.
Is it a Halloween movie? Is it a Christmas movie? It’s an existential crisis! But an awesome existential crisis!
9. Mrs. Vorhees (Friday the 13th)
Every movie needs a good guy (or bad girl.) This is especially true of horror movies. After all, where would we be without The Tall Man, Pennywise the Clown, Reverend Kane, along with many other bad guys that make these movies memorable?
Well, we can add Mrs. Vorhees to that list as well.
When I bring up Friday the 13th, most people think of the guy in the hockey mask. I then have to gently remind him that he is the protagonist in the 19 or so sequels that the franchise has generated, along with the awesomely bad crossover where Jason and Freddy meet…spoiler alert: they don’t meet for Netflix and chill!
So, let’s go back to the beginning.
In other words, the infamous Camp Crystal Lake. And a few horny teenagers. And of course, the campers.
And…the camp’s cook?
Yes, the camp’s cook. And the mother to Jason Vorhees, who (supposedly) drowned due to the horny camp counselors not doing their job, due to fact of being…well…horny.
Again, Jason is a non-factor in the first film of the franchise. We do see the “Jason half” of Mrs. Vorhees personality, as she rationalizes killing teenagers, but Mrs. Vorhees is responsible for all the blood and guts. All. The. Blood. And. Guts.
All of it!
I personally love a lady vs. lady show down. There is something much more fierce about those, and so primal.
Well, I got my wish when I watched Friday the 13th, in one of the most epic onscreen lady vs. lady show downs in the history of film and television!
It doesn’t get much better than that, folks!
When I watched Deadpool, I found it amusing that the title character seemed to be self-aware. He knew he was in a movie, and made reference to that fact throughout the movie. It was good for plenty of yuks!
The movie Scream also uses the concept of “self aware”, and perhaps one of the best uses of that concept.
After all, Scream constantly makes references to horror movies throughout the movie.
In fact, in the opening scene, the killer begins by asking trivia questions (see the above entry.) And that is just the beginning.
Scream pokes fun at the horror genre. A lot. After, we now all know to never say, “I’ll be right back?” Or to drink or have sex in a horror movie, as those acts also mean certain death.
However, underneath the humor, Scream is still a horror movie. With a protagonist who kicks ass.
And oh yeah, this protagonist just happens to be a girl!
Sidney’s plight is something that is all too familiar: her mother was raped and murdered. The murderer was supposedly caught and put in jail, but Sidney is struggling to come to terms with her mother’s death, and the repressed emotions that come with the trauma.
And then people start getting killed. Sidney is still struggling with her trauma, and is now unsure of who she can trust. Sidney is also now unsure that she did correctly identify her mother’s killer, and fears that she may have put the wrong man in jail.
Throughout the movie, Sidney shows herself to be a fighter. From the reporter who will not stop harassing her to her friend and boyfriend who turn out to to be the killers, Sidney proves that she is resilient, and a force to be reckoned with.
Processing trauma and coming out on the other side is difficult, but is rewarding when it is finally accomplished. The character of Sidney Prescott is a wonderful example of this.
Often, I joke (well, sort of) that I am in a relationship with…my bed.
Hi, my name is Leah, and if I don’t get my sleep, I will cut a bitch!
In other words, my bed is a refuge, as is my sleep.
Well, sleep usually is. Although sometimes I am given to having nightmares…
But I am lucky in the fact that my nightmares, no matter how real they seem (that one featuring the Tall Man and strange Lovecraftian creatures was certainly a doozy), are just dreams in the end.
They can’t hurt me.
The subject of this particular entry, however, was not so lucky.
Falling asleep became dangerous for her, so no refuge for her.
I mean, she dozed off in class and nearly got killed for it. Makes the detention one would normally expect seem kind of mild, right?
However, Nancy sleeps on it (see what I did there) and decides to do something about the evil creature who has been tormenting her and her friends in their dreams.
First, she recruits her boyfriend, Glenn, to help her catch Freddy. But when that doesn’t work, she doesn’t give up, and instead persuades her father to help trap Freddy.
Nancy just will not take no for an answer, and will stop at nothing to destroy Freddy Kreuger for good (or at least until the next sequel, at any rate.)
She will not go down without a fight, and I have always loved her for it.
Freddy Kreuger may be one of my favorite horror movie villains of all time, but let’s face it, without Nancy, he would be nothing. And that is not just because he needs dreams from teenagers so that he can exist.
The fact that my favorite horror villain has to face off against a woman is just icing on the cake. Wait, I take that back. Nancy is the cake, icing and all.
Now, I often tell people that high school was hell for me. And it was.
I spent most of my time isolated. And being isolated was actually the good part. When I was “only isolated,” I considered myself to be lucky, as least I wasn’t being tormented.
The lesser of the two evils, I suppose…
But what was that saying that I heard way back when, about a guy with no shoes who meets a guy with no feet and gets some kind of new perspective?
In other words, I should be lucky that my school was not built on a Hellmouth, right?
Isolation and bullying is one thing. We can talk about the lesser of two evils and so forth…
In fact, you may just piss one of those Big Bads off by referring to him/her/it as “lesser.” And that would be dangerous indeed.
And in the midst of all this…well…Hell, we have Willow Rosenberg.
Now, Willow may be a classic “sidekick” to Buffy, who had the fortune (or is it misfortune?) of moving to Sunnydale, CA, where her destiny as The Slayer awaited her, but make no mistake about it: Willow is also a bad ass herself.
As a result, one of the most fascinating character arcs in television history emerged.
How often do you see someone go from high school computer nerd, to fledgling witch, to full fledged witch, all the while never losing her integrity, making the arc seem so natural?
Oh, and Willow also came out as a lesbian somewhere in there too, making her one of the first major characters in a TV show to be openly gay. And it was all so natural too. When Willow finally coupled up with Tara, it seemed so right, and to be true love, as opposed to some kind of fetish. Her friends accepted her as gay, and nothing really changed between them…I loved it!
Oh, and any time I think any of my break ups were bad (along with my high school experience), I just think what was done to poor Willow in the name of entertainment for the masses. I think this is where that term ugly cry comes into play.
Yeah, see above…
I will say it once and I will say it again: High school, aka government babysitting is overrated at best. At worst, it is Hell. And the high school in question does not even need to be built on a Hellmouth to suck. High schools do that quite well on their own, thankyouverymuch.
And again, my high school experienced sucked. It sucked bunches. My best memory, other than finally graduating, was getting a 100% on a calculus test.
The teacher must have though I was a freak…
Well, I am a freak. But I actually think my freakage is pretty mild, compared to this particular entry.
Meet Carrie White.
On one hand, Carrie is your typical high school reject. At best, the other students ignore her, and she is invisible to pretty much everyone.
But the at worst part is just horrible. Getting pelted by tampons, while you are having your first period at age 17 and thinking you are dying…well, I think I would trade going to high school on the Hellmouth for that one!
However, on the other hand, Carrie is not your typical high school reject. For one thing, she has a religious fanatic for a mother at home, who shames her for getting her period, getting asked to prom, and pretty much shames her daughter for existing.
Carrie also possesses telekinetic powers. And this turns out to be bad news for everyone. When a high school prank goes horribly wrong, and Carrie is humiliated at prom, everyone is at the brunt of Carrie’s revenge.
Carrie’s powers are unleashed, and the results are epic, to say the least.
I have always said that the villains in this movie are Margaret White, along with Carrie’s cruel classmates. Carrie is the most innocent among all the characters. How could you expect her not to finally retaliate, after the happiest night in her tormented life is ruined?
I shed more than a few tears when Carrie died (see the part above about the ugly cry.)
And for the record, my high school classmates should be lucky that I did not possess telekinetic powers…
“Well, I’ve read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says: ‘live people ignore the strange and unusual”. I myself am strange and unusual.”
Oh, the above quote…
When I first heard it, there were so many emotions to process…
Happiness was one of them, of course.
And, believe it or not, relief was one of them as well.
I may have fallen in love a little that day, with a fictional character. I have a bad habit of doing that, it seems.
Of course, I am speaking of Lydia Deetz.
As a 90’s kid, “Goth” was a thing.
We all had them in at least one class.
The kids who wore all black, even in the summertime.
Often, they loved horror.
They had an affinity for creepy things.
Their taste in music was cutting edge, to say the least. Nine Inch Nails, anyone?
Lydia Deetz started the Goth culture.
She rocked the all black and pale-face make-up before it was cool (I mean, I was pale-face before it was cool, but no make-up needed here. Gotta love being a soul stealing ginger, AmIrite?)
In case I have not made this clear, I was not a kid who fit in. In fact, I didn’t really belong anywhere.
Growing up, I felt like a ghost. Sometimes I wondered if I was actually dead, and everyone knew it but me and forgot to tell me.
And like Lydia, I lived in a world of my creation. I loved to read and write, and create art.
Those interests don’t exactly make one’s phone ring off the hook on Friday night, but I tried to remain true to myself.
That was the thing I admired most about Lydia: she remained true to herself.
She preferred the company of ghosts over people (well, I preferred the company of animals, but close enough, right?)
Things that repelled most people attracted Lydia (to this day, my parents still think I am some kind of literary leper for loving Stephen King.)
Being different is a good thing. But often, it is lonely.
Characters like Lydia Deetz remind us of how awesome different is, and make the journey a little less lonely.
“She’s our friend and she’s crazy!”
Stranger Things is my show and it’s awesome!
Now, no matter what else happens in 2016 (and we still have the presidential election to get through, so the season finale is still a bit far away), we can at say, “At least we had Stranger Things.”
And there so many things to love about Stranger Things.
It is a tribute to all things 80’s.
It is a gold mine for Stephen King fans. The story line of people with PSI abilities is classic King (Firestarter, anyone?), not to mention the fact that The Master’s name is lovingly brought up in an episode.
I could go on and on, actually. Lots of reasons to love Stranger Things…
At least eleven, I would say…
Oh, right. Eleven. The subject of this entry!
If you told me that the show Stranger Things centered on the subject of four friends (who are boys) and their entrance into adulthood, along with the loss of innocence they experience, you would be correct.
On the surface, that is what Stranger Things is about (along with a monster christened Mr. Tulip-Head and his band of merry slugs.) That statement would not be incorrect.
But, like the books written by a certain famous writer, Stranger Things is so much more than that.
Enter Eleven, everyone’s favorite waffle loving, bald-headed escapee from an evil government lab run by the creep known as Dr. Pedophile.
And oh yeah, Eleven possesses PSI abilities, along with being on the run from “Papa” (shudder.)
At first, Eleven serves as kind of homing beacon, to help Mike and his friends try to find their missing friend Will, whose disappearance just happens to coincide with Eleven’s appearance.
However, the boys, especially Mike, grow to like Eleven on her own merits. A friendship develops, and Eleven becomes fiercely protective of her new friends (see the opening sentence to this entry.)
Through their friendship with Eleven, the boys mature, and also come to the realization that the world is not a safe place, nor is it always a fair place. Eleven brings out the best in Mike, who begins to fall in love with her.
The realization that the world is not a safe or fair place comes in the final episode, when Eleven (seemingly) sacrifices herself to the alternate dimension known as the Upside-Down, when she battles the monster that was responsible for kidnapping Will.
Out of all the characters on the show, Eleven proves herself to the most selfless of the bunch, who takes the meaning of friendship to a new level, when she sacrifices herself for another child who she does not even know. She also proves herself to be a tough fighter, in her journeys to the Upside-Down and her battle with the extra-dimensional monster.
And a fierce protector of Eggo Waffles everywhere. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT mess with that girl’s waffles, if you know what’s good for you!
I love Eva Green…
Oh, how I love Eva Green!
Eva Green is the bomb.com!
Did I mention that I love Eva Green?
Okay, just wanted to make my point clear.
And the reason I fell in love with Eva Green was her portrayal of Vanessa Ives on the show Penny Dreadful.
I have problems. I really do. Sometimes they feel like they number around 99, although I am really not sure if a bitch accounts for more than a few (although my crazy dog could be put into that bitch category.)
But then, I can go watch the period horror/drama known as Penny Dreadful, and I get some perspective.
In other, my problems are pretty damn mild. Or maybe even non-existent, really.
After all, I don’t have the Devil Himself after me.
Or Dracula, for that matter.
I may have guys hit on me and give me unwanted attention, but at least they aren’t evil incarnate.
(On a side note, no one has ever seen my ex and Lucifer in the same room together. Fun fact of the day!)
Nor am I harassed by a coven of witches who are willing to hand me over to at least one of the above.
Oh, and I don’t live in Victorian London, where women are limited to only a couple of roles, and if they don’t fit in, then well, that’s just too bad, isn’t it?
I have just described a day in the life of Vanessa Ives, the main character of the show Penny Dreadful. Yikes much?
But somehow, despite all of the horrors she has to endure throughout her life (both supernatural and non-supernatural), Vanessa Ives is able to maintain a kind of grace that one rarely sees even in people who have not been cursed by an unknown evil force.
Vanessa makes everyone around her better. Her influence is something to behold, as she brings out the best even in those who may not be the best humanity has to offer (Victor Frankenstein and Sir Malcolm being prime examples of this.)
Caliban, in particular, benefits from his friendship with Vanessa. Even before he became “The Creature,” Caliban was in danger of his losing his humanity due to his employment with the Banning Clinic. However, when he is forced to care for Vanessa, he begins to see his patients as individuals, as opposed to numbers, and realizes that his employer is in the wrong in its treatment of its patients, and that he can no longer work for them.
(Another side note: anyone who watches the episode A Blade of Grass without tearing up at least a little bit has ice water instead of blood in his/her veins, and we cannot be friends.)
Even after Caliban is transformed into The Creature, Vanessa extends her friendship to him, reminding Caliban that he is more than a corpse stitched together and brought back to life as a science experiment.
Vanessa’s character serves to make the ending even more poignant, as she sacrifices herself so that others may live.
Vanessa’s friends mourn her death, but it is clear that she lives on in each of them, as her influence continues, even after her death.
And now, for my number 1 woman in horror…
I give you…
OK, let’s get one thing straight…
That’s Dr. Scully to you!
Now, in case it wasn’t clear, I was a nerd growing up.
I liked math and science.
I read books on theoretical physics for fun.
A wild day for me consisted of visiting the library and finding five books. OR SIX BOOKS. SIX BOOKS!
So, as you can imagine, my social calendar was clear until approximately February 30th, 2087. Although these days, I’m a little more booked, because that calendar is clear until May 32nd 2072, although if you need something, I may be able to shuffle things around and pencil you in.
But, in the fall of 1993, things began to look up. Well, a little bit, at least.
For that is when we had the debut of The X Files.
Before I watched The X Files, I did not see a lot of representation of women in my world, aka the world of nerd. Now, this did not necessarily bother me much, at least on a conscious level.
However, deep inside, I knew that something was missing, I could not tell you what, but I knew that my world was lacking.
But then Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully made their entrance to the screen.
And right away, it became evident of what my world was missing.
You see, the world of horror and general nerdiness had been waiting for a woman like Scully. Finally, she arrived.
And she did not disappoint.
Scully was smart (see the opening sentence to this entry.)
Not only was Scully smart, she could throw down some serious shade. And usually, she was wearing heels of at least three inches while doing that.
And her autopsies were so cool! They almost made me want to go to medical school, just so I could throw around medical jargon like that. Almost.
Scully also kept her partner Mulder grounded. Mulder could get a little nutty at times with his (literally) out of this world theories, but Scully was able to reign him in, and was the yin to yang. They made a great team.
I loved seeing her storm in with those heels, pointing her gun and flashing her FBI badge. Sometimes her efforts backfired, and Scully would end up in a dire predicament as well. But many times, Scully was able to get Mulder out whatever predicament he found himself in, and the two could go on to kick ass for another episode.
Scully also faced the same sexism many of us in the “real world” have to face on regular basis. Sometimes people were reluctant to respect her, or would ignore her in favor of her male partner. But Scully always handled that so well, and could silence her naysayers with a single look or sentence. And I loved her for it.
And I have one thing to say: Representation matters. I am someone who has spent her life feeling invisible and ignored. And its not fun. I do not wish that on anyone.
But when we create characters such as Dana Scully, the world becomes a little brighter. And a little less lonely.
At last, someone gets us. And the journey becomes exciting, At last, we begin to see the hope.
Well, that’s it for my top 10 ladies in horror.
I am sure I missed a few, but compiling this list was not an easy task. So a shout out to any I may have left out: You are not forgotten!
So, if you don’t feel like being horrified by Indianapolis Colts football, pop in one of these movies, or tune in to Netflix and watch one of these shows.
At the very least, you can kill a few hours. Or maybe, just maybe, you can appreciate one of these films or TV shows in a new light, after seeing some kick ass ladies!
So, it’s summertime.
Not only is it hot, but the offerings on television are a bit scant, so to speak.
Although, really, I was craving a dose of the 80’s.
But The Goldbergs are also on vacation. And I needed something new and fresh, and none of the 80’s movies or TV shows in my collection were cutting it!
But luckily, Netflix decided to oblige me…
I heard that there was new show out. It could satisfy that 80’s craving…check.
I’m a huge fan of horror and it was scary…check.
It paid homage to some writer guy I am obsessed with…check.
Oh, and it was actually well-acted and directed…check.
In other words, I am referring to the Netflix show known as Stranger Things.
Yes, I jumped on the Stranger Things bandwagon!
No I didn’t get a t-shirt, but it was one hell (or is it upside down?) of a ride!
Now, I didn’t binge. Despite my love for this show, it still is a fine wine that needed to be savored.
So I forced myself to slow down.
In other words, I finished watching the show in about a week. And I still felt that I rushed it a bit, since there was so much good stuff to savor!
Like the 80’s aspect of it…nostalgia rules!
The Stephen King references…The Master himself even earned a direct reference…but I know he won’t let the fame get to his head!
And this show was scary…I had to hide my eyes and grip my poor dog really hard watching some parts…good thing dogs are tolerant of their human slaves, even when the human slaves are watching scary stuff on TV!
In other words, there are so many reasons to love Stranger Things. The show really does have a little something for everyone, and is so well done.
So, I deemed this show worthy of a post on this little old blog. And I narrowed down the number of reasons to love this show…
Wait for it…
(See what I did there? You are welcome!)
So, here is my list of 11 reasons as to why Stranger Things is an awesome show. It may be a bit redundant in parts, but I feel each reason earned its place on the list and is worthy of discussion.
Time to break down and discuss this show, so buckle in for the ride!
And, as always:
It is scary
Some of you may be scratching your heads, and wondering if Captain Obvious has taken over this blog. And I don’t begrudge you for that thought. After all, this show is billed as being in the horror category, so of course it’s scary, right?
Well, not necessarily. Both the big and small screen are filled with all kinds of abominations these days that call themselves horror. And when I refer to them as abominations, that does not necessarily mean they are the good kind of abomination…
So, let’s break it down and discuss it.
When I watched Stranger Things, I felt warm and fuzzy at times. After all, nostalgia, right? And I laughed. I mean who wouldn’t laugh? After all, Dustin’s antics, floating Eggo waffles and Steve’s hair…all of those are pretty chuckle-worthy, in my opinion.
And, as quickly as I felt the warm and fuzzy, or went into a mad fit of giggling over a Dustin one-liner, I found myself holding on to my dog for dear life (like I said, she’s tolerant) and trying not to be scared into a change of pants. The show was that effective.
First of all, there was the concept of the Upside Down. An alternate dimension that sucks in a little kid. forcing him to communicate using Christmas lights? One of man’s greatest fears is the fear of the unknown. And an alternate dimension fits that category perfectly, as that would be one of the few frontiers left.
Nancy is briefly sucked into that alternate dimension, and seeing it through her eyes was just frightening. No wonder she needed a little company that night. I don’t think I would ever sleep again!
There is also The Monster. Although the politically correct name for him (it?) is Mr. Tulip-Head. So I shall refer to him by his proper name in this post, so no tentacles are ruffled!
And Mr. Tulip-Head is not one to be trifled with, yo!
Not only is he an extra-dimensional monster that is a predator (you could say that the town of Hawkins was his haunt, as in haunt meaning a place where animals feed), he seems to force slug-like creatures down people’s throats, in an attempt to either kill them, or perhaps an attempt to reproduce…
I tell you, if Will has a mini Mr. Tulip-Head come busting out of him, per the infamous scene in the movie Alien…well, I won’t be surprised at all! And you can say you heard it here first!
Did anyone else think sushi when Will puked up that tentacle, by the way?
Ok, so that was just me then…
Well, nevermind, I guess…
It is Nerd Heaven
From the opening scene of Stranger Things, the tone is set. The audience realizes that it will be treated to a…
I know, something nerdy making it on to this blog? Can you imagine!?
At the beginning of the first episode, the boys are playing Dungeons and Dragons. And using all the technical terms, like Demi-Gorgon. And trust me folks, it only gets nerdier.
Obviously, we have Mike, Will and the rest of the gang. Right from the beginning, the writers of the show let us know that they are the nerds among their peer group. This title includes the good grades, unusual hobbies (D&D and membership in the audio-visual club), and the other, not positive attributes of nerdiness, such as the empty social calendar and merciless bullying.
Not only is D&D present throughout the series (as a useful metaphor, no doubt), there are so many little details that made my nerdy heart go pitter-patter.
We have the teacher that has a hot date with a pretty girl explaining the special effects in a horror movie. Who needs brawn and muscles when you have a guy that can give a technical break down of the special effects in a scary movie to put your mind at ease?
There is the sensory deprivation chamber. I loved how the boys, Hop and Joyce speculated on how to create one, and then hit upon the idea of using salt water. It added some credibility to the series, although I think I will skip making one in an attempt to visit another dimension, as this one without Mr. Tulip-head is just fine, thank you!
I also loved it when the guys talked to the science teacher (the same expert on special effects in movies), about the existence of other dimension, and how to access those dimensions. As a teenager, I read tons of books on physics, along with science fiction and fantasy novels covering that same topic (A Wrinkle in Time is a favorite of mine) and it is a subject of endless fascination for me, even in adulthood. So to see it addressed on this show (the analogy with the acrobat and flea on the tightrope is an excellent) gave me goosebumps. And goosebumps of the good variety.
If I actually had a friend group as a child, I hope that group would have contained a Dustin, a Mike, a Will and a Lucas. After all, nerd power!
It has strong feminist leanings
The formula looks something like this: a scary monster (or serial killer) is on the loose, somehow. There are all kinds of hints, but both the teenagers and adults ignore the warning signs. The teenagers are left to their own devices. In other words, teenagers of the opposite sex gather together, and “own devices” turns out to mean “having sex.” So most of the teens pair off, and conveniently find fully furnished bedrooms. And then they have sex. Well, except for a couple of virtuous kids, who are either uncomfortable with the idea of dating before marriage, or the nerdy guy (or girl, but usually a guy) who is rejected by the beautiful member of the opposite sex for either the jock or cheerleader.
Apparently, nothing angers a movie villain more than sexually active teenagers. And the kinkiness of the sex involved is directly proportional to how quickly (and even how gruesomely) the teenagers get dispatched. It is then up to the virtuous guy or girl to face the killer, and defeat the killer, who just won’t stay dead, even after being riddled with a large number of bullets that would take down any non horror movie villain.
Or something like that, at any rate. Formulaic, in other words.
Now, Stranger Things may be a tribute to the 80’s and all things horror, but one thing it is not is formulaic. This includes its treatment of the teenage girl. In fact, Stranger Things stands the formula on its head, and can be argued to make a strong feminist statement by doing so.
Well, no. Although my friends and family may argue otherwise, but you can’t miss what you never had, right?
And yes, Stranger Things does make a strong feminist statement, and here’s why.
Nancy becomes involved with Steve, and sneaks out to a party, lying to her parents and convincing poor Barb to cover for her. Pretty typical teen behavior, in other words.
Not surprisingly, Nancy and Steve have sex. The other couple at the party has sex. And poor Barb is left to her own devices.
Standard horror fare, in other words.
But then, we veer away from the standard horror. Nancy survives her first time, although Steve behaves in a pretty boorish manner (in other words, a teenage boy.) Barb, however, does not survive that night, as she is attacked by Mr. Tulip-Head. Apparently, Mr. Tulip-Head did not get the memo from Jason or Michael Myers, and does not attack the teenagers engaged in premarital sex. Rather, he behaves like a typical predator, and attacks the isolated member of the herd, aka Barb.
It takes a bit, but Nancy realizes that Barb is missing. She confesses her lie to her mother and speaks to the police, naturally leaving out that she and Steve had sex that night. I mean, it’s not like her sex life is anybody’s business but hers, right?
Furthermore, Nancy lets her mother know this, in no uncertain terms. Yes, she had sex and Barb is now missing. But the two are NOT related, nor should they be seen as related. Because, you know, becoming sexually active and an extra-dimensional monster that had been unleashed due to the irresponsible actions of a shady operation in town are NOT related, so let’s focus on the important thing here: now two children are missing, and maybe our town is in danger, so let’s do something before more people turn up missing?
In other words, quit punishing women for being sexual! Being sexual should not lead to death! And a women’s sex life is no one’s business but her own! Yeah, go Stranger Things!
Plus, Nancy kicks ass anyway. She threw down some serious shade against Mr. Tulip-Head, and they boys just kind of followed her lead.
In other words, I can’t give Nancy enough love.
It is 80’s heaven
And let me count the ways…
Where do I even start? This show just has so much 80’s…
We have the decor in the houses. Someone took some great care to make sure that the houses looked like something you would see back in 1983, from the wall paper down to the carpeting. So there’s that.
We get 80’s music. The Clash? How much more 80’s can you get?
And movie references. Don’t forget those. Joyce surprising Will with tickets to go see Poltergeist. And then Will disappearing, in much the same manner as Carol Anne Freeling. It’s true that Joyce developed an obsession with all things electronic and not the TV, but the concept is still the same.
I saw elements of The Goonies and Stand by Me. In fact, the story arc of Mike and his friends is kind of similar to these two movies: plucky misfit kids have a crazy adventure together and test their friendship in the process. Well, just add in extra-dimensional monsters and shady government operatives. But still not too far off.
The television that happened to be playing an episode of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe…squee!
Throw in a little John Hughes as well. The girl must choose between two guys: one is kind of a lovable meathead, and the other is artistic and introspective, and the sworn enemy of the aforementioned meathead…
Then there is the character of Hop, who had a kind of Indiana Jones vibe…swoon…
So much nostalgia.
I grew up in the 1980’s and 1990’s (I am 38, for all you nosy folk), and when I watched Stranger Things, I was (at least momentarily), transported back to my childhood, and was reminded of a time in my life when things were a little less complicated.
And no, I am not looking back with rose-colored glasses. That’s 3 D glasses I am using, thank you very much!
Now excuse me, I have to go find some leggings that coordinate with my banana clip…battling extra-dimensional monsters will just have to wait!
The nods to different types of horror
Well, we just talked about how the show is scary. So of course, since it is a show in the horror category, right?
Captain obvious strikes again!
Actually, this reason is more in regards to the fact of how the show paid homage to so many different types of horror.
First of all, we have the 1980’s horror aspect. When I watched, I was reminded of all the 80’s classics: A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th and the Halloween movies. Those movies had teenagers or young adults as their protagonists, just like Stranger Things.
One of the main points of the show was the fear of the unknown. Again, I was reminded of John Carpenter (The Thing.) The premise of The Thing is a life form that is not understood, just like Mr. Tulip-Head in Stranger Things. That creature is definitely not understood, nor would understanding be a good thing (although it may result in one being forced to ingest slugs.)
I was also reminded of the movie Alien, which (again) deals with the fear of the unknown. And has a strong female protagonist. Nancy and Ellen Riply…now that would be a dangerous combo!
And I was also reminded of H.P. Lovecraft…
Yes, a show that is a mix of Stephen King’s It and The Goonies also has some nods to Lovecraft…who knew?
The idea that Will had been touched by the unknown (after he pukes up a slug and seems to be back in the Upside-Down momentarily) and forever changed is also something that is distinctively Lovecraftian. One of the running themes in Lovecraft’s stories is that knowledge is not necessarily always a good thing, and Will experiencing life in another dimension was not necessarily a good thing. In fact, I think that experience will have some pretty severe repercussions, but only time (and a second season) will tell.
In fact, I found the end of this season to be pretty unsettling, as the camera shots and the shots of the stars in the sky seemed to imply that someone (or something) had its eye on Will, his friends, Nancy, Jonathan and the whole town of Hawkins, Indiana. And that someone or something was not friendly. Not friendly at all.
It is a HUGE homage to Stephen King
While we are on the subject of horror and scary things…
This reason may be a bit redundant.
After all, Stephen King is a horror writer. And he is scary. He is even tied into the 1980’s (It, Pet Sematary, Cujo and Firestarter are all 80’s books.) He even ties into the feminist part, since he is also capable of writing strong female characters.
But, he is The Master. And The Master deserves his own entry. Not to mention the fact that there are aspects to this show that are distinctly Stephen King.
We do have one character specifically asking another character if she has read a Stephen King book. Hey, if you are going to drop a bunch of King Easter eggs, you may as well admit it, right?
The fact that Eleven’s mother was drugged in order to enhance latent PSI abilities is a direct reference to the book (and movie) Firestarter. In Firestarter, a man and woman are drugged as part of an experiment. The man and woman fall in love, marry and have a child. The child is gifted (or perhaps cursed) with the ability to start fires with her mind. This is similar to Eleven’s situation, in that her mother was drugged, and then gave birth to a child with PSI abilities (aka Eleven.)
Plus, I am pretty sure that Hawkins Laboratory is actually an operative of The Shop…
People, especially children, with extraordinary abilities, are a major theme in King’s work. The Shining, Carrie, Everything’s Eventual, Dr. Sleep and Firestarter are just some examples. In fact, in the Dark Tower series, people with these abilities even have a name: Breakers. And Eleven definitely classifies as a Breaker. Don’t worry, I won’t tell the Low Men!
Traveling between realities is also a huge theme in King’s work. In fact, this also has a specific name: going Todash. And the space in between realities is called the Todash space, and monsters lurk in the Todash space. When Eleven was in the blackness and first encountered that monster…I would say that was a pretty good representation of Todash space!
In King’s books, there are doors that lead to realities. They are known as “thinnies,” and allow travel to different worlds and even different time periods. Eleven was able to use her PSI abilities to make one of these doors. And, as far as we know, that door still exists at Hawkins Laboratory, with the potential for more creatures (The Mist comes to mind) to cross over to the Stranger Things level of The Tower…
Yeah, I said it. I gave Stranger Things its own level on The Dark Tower. So if Roland and his ka-tet, or perhaps Danny Torrance, end up employing the services of a certain girl with a fondness for Eggo waffles…well, you heard it from me first, folks!
It gives an honest portrayal of small town life
I am someone who grew up in a small town, so I feel qualified to write about this topic. And it is something that has come up in many a blog post, mainly in the Stephen King related posts, as small towns are as vital to a Stephen King novel as kids with PSI abilities, homicidal clowns and rabid St. Bernards.
I have discovered that the only people who really understand the small town are those who have spent time in the small town (like Stephen King, obviously.)
You have one extreme that sees the environment as charming, quaint, maybe even bucolic. Can kids really go missing in a small town? You can leave your doors unlocked, right? The locals are charming!
Then, there is the other extreme: people who see the small town populated by the likes of the Peacock family, with no access to modern technology (what plumbing?) and just a general ignorance of the outside world, period.
The truth is that small towns are complex. Stephen King hits on this in books like Needful Things, It, ‘Salem’s Lot and many, many others. Stranger Things also hits on this, and in only eight episodes. I am sure that this theme will be discussed more in (hopefully) upcoming seasons as well.
On the the one hand, there is a sense of community in a town like Hawkins, Indiana. People rally together to comfort Joyce and help search for Will when it is believed that he is still alive. People are at ease with each other, because if they don’t know you, they probably went to school with one of your parents. Or worked with your best friend at the local factory.
But small towns have a sense of ugliness about them too. I can personally testify to this. And Mike and his friends can as well. The bullies hurl a racial slur at Lucas early on. Steve is able to spread rumors and ruin Nancy’s “reputation” fairly quickly. The lack of concern for Barb after she disappears is downright disturbing. People quickly assume that Barb is a runaway, and no effort is made on her behalf. And that is part of small town life: the people in the town do not want to believe that something may be amiss, and will try to cover it up.
So how long have the inhabitants of Hawkins Laboratory suspected, at least somewhere deep down, that something was amiss in their town? Obviously, Dr. Brenner (who will be referred to in this blog as Dr. Pedophile, due to his disgusting nature) has been performing unethical experiments for a long time. At the very least, these experiments produced poor Eleven, and a woman in a vegetative state (likely the mother of Eleven.)
But Eleven is the 11th. The 11th of what? Are there others like her? If so, what happened to them? And what do the people living in the town know? What other skeletons will emerge?
The show has been renewed for a second season, so I am sure we will be finding out a lot more about Hawkins, Indiana, and its secrets.
Now, all of the characters are fabulous. Let me just get that out there, less I ruffle the tentacles of Mr. Tulip-Head, and any other monsters that resemble flora gone terribly wrong!
Along with Old Tulip-Head, I have much love for the characters in this show. Even the bad guys, like Dr. Pedophile. They are well drawn-out and believable, even when they are behaving in ways that may make one scratch his or her head (talking to you, Sheriff Hop.)
But there is one character that deserves his own entry.
So, without any further ado…let me introduce Dustin!
And if you don’t love Dustin, then you are definitely in the same category as people who kick puppies and listen to Nickelback!
Ok, I may be joking. About the kicking puppies bit, anyway.
On the surface, Dustin is lovable. Actually, everything about him is lovable, from his love of chocolate pudding, to his smile and even that speech impediment!
But, there is much more to Dustin than his ability to track down chocolate pudding and that charming smile of his.
Dustin is the glue that holds his group of friends together. It is true that Mike is the brains, and Lucas is a fighter.
However, if it weren’t for Dustin, the group may have fallen apart. Mike and Lucas were constantly at odds with each other, especially when Eleven was added to the fold. In fact, things got physical, and Lucas was thrown in the air by Eleven for his troubles.
But due to Dustin’s insightful nature (he did understand that he could not have the same place in Mike’s life, because he didn’t come into it until fourth grade), Lucas and Mike were able to come to an agreement and reconcile. Dustin played the mediator, getting each side to compromise with each other, so that they did not compromise their mission: saving Will from what was literally Hell.
Dustin has been compared to Vern Tessio, a character in the movie Stand By Me. Superficially, there is something to that, as both Vern and Dustin provide comic relief and are the easy going friends who try to keep the peace.
But as a wise man pointed out: Dustin would never forget where he left his pennies.
This is Dustin. He’s our friend and essential to keeping us from killing each other so that we don’t leave our other friend some place that is not on any map!
Much of Stranger Things is about friendships, and the relationships the characters have with each other.
Obviously, we have Mike, Will, Lucas and Dustin. The OF, or Original Friendship, if you will. When Will goes missing, Mike will stop at nothing to find Will so that his group can be whole again.
Then, there is Eleven. Mike and Eleven seem to bond immediately, and Eleven slowly becomes something more than a human flashlight to Mike, even though he is still desperate to find his missing friend.
In fact, it could be argued that Eleven’s presence makes all the boys better people, although this is especially true for Mike, whose relationship with Eleven opens his eyes, and causes him to grow up a little.
We also have Nancy and Barb. Barb starts off as Nancy’s friend who is willing to do anything for her, including lying to her parents so that she can sneak out and spend time with Steven. However, Barb disappears into the Upside-Down, a seeming victim of the Mr. Tulip-Head. Like Will, Nancy is forced to grow up, as she searches for Barb, and encounters the callous reaction of law enforcement and even her parents, who refuse to believe that Barb is anything other than a teenage runaway.
There is the relationship between Nancy and Jonathan. Jonathan is frantically searching for his brother, and Nancy is frantically searching for her friend. The two bond in their mutual tragedy and work together to defeat the evil that is trying to destroy their town. Nancy develops a respect for Jonathan, viewing him as a person, rather than the “weird kid” that her peers see him as. Jonathan also develops a respect for Nancy, and seems to feel something more than friendship for her, even though Nancy reconciles with Steve.
Steve also bonds with Jonathan, and seems to genuinely feel remorse for the bullying. However, that friendship seems to be tentative at best, given that both men have feelings for Nancy.
In other words, people had “frenemies,” even back in the ancient times!
It tackles taboo topics
It is no secret that horror and “taboo” topics are linked. Almost every horror movie features sex of some kind (Friday the 13th and its approximately 725 sequels are a great example of this.) Candyman is another movie that deals with taboo topics, because it addresses racism.
And don’t even get me started on Stephen King, The King of Taboo Topics (pun intended.) King books run the gamut, from domestic violence, to bullying, to substance abuse and even to the death of a child. When “real-world” issues are included alongside the supernatural ones, the the story becomes that much more believable.
Stranger Things is no different, in that it also deals with taboo topics. The show begins with every parent’s worst nightmare: the disappearance of a child. And it only gets more taboo from there.
Early on in the series, we witness the bullying that Mike and his friends endure. Lucas is treated to a racial epithet. Dustin is harassed due to his speech impediment. And it gets worse, as the bullies make some disparaging remarks about Will’s supposed death, when they are supposed to be mourning the loss of their classmate.
Mike is not the only character who experiences bullying. Jonathan is also harassed for being different, and this harassment is experienced at the hands of Steve. Steve is also insensitive to the disappearance of Will, and to the disappearance of Barb, the best friend of the girl he claims to love.
We have the character of Sheriff Hopper. Hop’s character is a walking bundle of taboos, actually.
First of all, Hop is a substance abuser. He is an alcoholic, much like Jack Torrance in The Shining. Not surprisingly, he is also a womanizer, using sex and alcohol to escape his demons.
Hop has also experienced the ultimate tragedy: he has lost a child. Not surprisingly, this experience has shaped him into the man that he is. The loss cost him his marriage, and his ex wife has moved on and started a new family. Hop attempts to do this, but struggles mightily. However, when he meets Eleven and spends time in the Upside Down so that he can rescue Will, Hop is able to begin healing. It could even be said that Will and Eleven are surrogate children of Hop.
Often, subjects are “taboo” and therefore frightening because we choose to keep them in the dark. But when the light is turned on, the monsters are no longer as formidable as they once were.
Now, I know that I said I had made this list with no particular order in mind. But, like Maury Povich might say, this post has determined that to be a lie!
There is one aspect of Stranger Things that deserves her own entry, and should be in the spotlight, at least for a minute.
I mean, after all, it would be an Upside Down kind of logic if I didn’t pay her homage, right?
So, without any further ado…
Here is my favorite thing about Stranger Things!
Yes, in case you have not figured it out, I am talking about our favorite telekinetic, Eggo waffle loving, mouth breather hater with a cute buzz cut adolescent, aka Eleven!
Eleven is bad ass. I can’t think of any other way to put it.
She is here to kick ass and eat Eggo waffles, and she’s almost out of waffles!
In all seriousness, I just love Eleven. How can you not? People who hate Eleven are like people that listen to Nickelback!
Eleven is one tough chick.
She started out as an experiment. She doesn’t know her real parents. The only parental figure that she’s ever known is a creepy scientist, known as Dr. Pedophile for the purposes of this blog.
And to Dr. Pedophile, she is nothing but his lab experiment, to be used as how he sees fit. And he uses her to open gateways that should never be opened, and to explore what should remain unknown. When she escapes, his concern is not for her as a person, but as his test subject that someone else may access.
Eleven is forced to face things that would frighten people three times her age to death. Yet, she somehow does it, in the name of helping a boy that she has never met.
She is also fiercely loyal to her friends, although she has only known Mike, Lucas and Dustin for a short time. She makes the bully pee his pants…that is true friendship right there!
Even though Eleven has been raised in a lab, she still manages to exhibit the most humanity of anyone on the show. Nearly everyone on the show has an agenda: Mike and his friends want to find Will, Hop wants to expose Hawkins Laboratory, Nancy is looking for revenge for Barb. But not Eleven. The only thing Eleven is looking for (besides waffles) is love and acceptance. And she does manage to find that, if only for a short time.
However, Eleven’s happiness is tragically cut short, when she makes the ultimate sacrifice: she battles an extra-dimensional monster, and seemingly sacrifices herself so that her friends may live.
Often, bad ass can come in small packages. And Eleven is a lot of bad ass in one small package. But sometimes, small packages have the most give, just like Eleven.
So, there you have it. Eleven reasons why I love Stranger Things. Sure, maybe I missed a few, but I think I got most of them. Hopefully, I don’t incur the ire of Mr. Tulip-Head and his merry band of slugs1
This is Stranger Things. Its my show and it’s crazy…crazy awesome, that it is!
So, if you haven’t watched this show, I have given you eleven reasons to make sure that Netflix subscription is up to date…
So flop down on your couch, and prepare for one epic binge session!
Oh, Friday nights in high school…
Those were the days, I tell ya…
So fun and carefree!
And my partners were just so hot, too…
We even encountered kinky stuff, like Amish-like people who were able to make people super horny, and even some incest…ewww!
Well, this wasn’t what I actually did on Friday nights when I was in high school…don’t I wish!
Instead, I did what every other kid with a ridiculously full social calendar did: I watched The X Files. In fact, I was an X Phile…
And if that is not the coolest fandom name ever, then we are done and we are not friends!
But, I digress. The X Files may have started out as one of those “cult” shows (but not like a regular cult, it was a cool cult), but it soon became huge. And people started wanting a piece of the action. In fact, many famous people either got their start on the show, or simply made guest appearances.
Or in one case, received credit as a guest writer…
Yes, The Master is credited with an episode of The X Files…is there anything he can’t do (wait, more on that later, actually)?
Stephen King and Chris Carter decided to
have a baby together write an episode of The X Files together, and that baby that episode is known as Chinga. Chinga is set in a small town in Maine (really, I know) and tells of a mysterious doll that seems to be causing the deaths of people in the town. Well, at least that was my memory of it, any way.
And I love Stephen King (Captain Obvious strikes again) and I love The X Files. Even better, The X Files will be renewed again in January 2016, for a paltry six episodes (although I will take what I can get). But I got to feeling nostalgic, and wanted to jog my memory a bit. In other words, I wanted to take a trip down memory lane, and watch some of these old monster of the week episodes that I have not been able to forget.
Luckily, we have Netflix, which is either my greatest blessing, or the bane of my existence (anyone who has “binge-watched” something
Sons of Anarchy to the point where he/she neglects everything, like housework and showering, will catch my drift). So I loaded up the Netflix, employed my trusty friend Google, and…
Side note: Typing in The X Files into the Netflix search box yields some rather…interesting…results. And this is the kind of interesting that involves naked women and floppy dildos. Must have been Netflix evil twin Sexflix at work…
But anyway, I found several seasons of the show, including the specific episode I was was looking for. And I settled on my couch, with my blankie and kitty, and took a stroll down memory lane.
So, without any further ado…here is my recap and review of Chinga!
The episode begins with a mother and daughter making a trip to the grocery store. We are told that the events take place in a small town in Maine. The little girl has a doll, which she appears attached to. And the mother appears nervous, but makes her way into the store. The doll speaks, saying it wants to play. Suddenly, the people in the grocery store begin to scratch their own eyes and make themselves bleed. They appear to be controlled by something else. The mother sees an image of a dead man reflected in the glass, and hurriedly exits the store. In the meantime, the local butcher stabs himself in the eye. The wound proves fatal, and the local authorities are called. Before he dies, the butcher sees what appears to be the shadow of an over-sized doll.
Agent Dana Scully is shown exiting her car in the same small town, presumably to pick up supplies. She receives a call from her partner Agent Fox Mulder on her cell phone, but hangs up on him, telling him that she is on vacation and will not be distracted by “shop talk.” However, Scully sees the scene unfolding at the local store, and offers her help to the local authorities.
Scully reviews the footage of the incident at the grocery store with the police chief, John Bonsaint. She also confers with Mulder, who thinks the incident may actually be witchcraft in some form. However, Scully notices that woman and little girl, Melissa and Polly Turner, are unaffected by the incident and suggests that the authorities question them.
The sheriff’s deputy, Buddy Riggs, tells Melissa that the authorities may question her and tries to help her. He buys Polly an ice cream sundae, and tries to convince Melissa to leave town. Melissa is reluctant, and tells Buddy that she has seen images of violent deaths, including that of her husband, before they occur. While the adults are talking, Polly asks for more cherries on her sundae. The ice cream parlor employee tells Polly that she will need to pay for the cherries, which upsets Polly. The doll again talks, saying it wants to play. The employees hair becomes caught in one of the machines, and she is nearly decapitated until Buddy rescues her. Buddy hands Melissa the keys to a remote cabin, and again advises her to leave town.
While reviewing the surveillance footage with the local police, Scully learns that the ancestors of Melissa Turner were accused of witchcraft. Scully and the local authories visit Ms. Froehlich, the owner of a local daycare formerly attended by Polly Turner. Ms. Froehlich also accuses Melissa Turner of witchcraft and is not cooperative with the authorities. Scully speaks to a man who was the partner of Melissa’s deceased husband, a local fisherman. The man tells Scully that the death of Melissa’s husband may have been a bit unusual, but is convinced that what he saw was a trick of the light. Scully learns that Melissa’s husband had found the doll in one of his fishing traps, and gave it to Polly as a birthday present. Scully and the local authorities also drop by Melissa’s house, but find no one home.
Melissa and Polly make their way to the cabin. They encounter a park ranger, which makes Melissa nervous. Polly demands to go home, and the doll speaks again. Melissa sees a vision of a dead Ms. Froehlich, and immediately turns the car around and heads back home. In the meantime, Ms. Froehlich has killed herself in a gruesome, using pieces of broken records to cut herself. She has also seen what appears to be the shadow of a large doll before her death.
Melissa and Polly return home, and Polly becomes demanding, making Melissa nervous. Buddy also visits, and chastises Melissa for returning, and also telling her that she nearly ran over the park ranger. Melissa sees a vision of a dead Buddy, and the doll forces him to bludgeon himself to death. Melissa then sees a dead version of herself, and attempts to burn down the house. However, the doll extinguishes the matches and she is unsuccessful.
Scully and the sheriff return to Melissa’s house and attempt to enter. The sheriff finally breaks down the door, and they enter and find Melissa involuntarily bludgeoning herself with a hammer. In an act of quick thinking, Scully seizes the doll from Polly and puts in the microwave, burning it. This act seems to break the spell, and Melissa does not kill herself.
Scully returns to work, and finds Mulder in his office. He tells he was productive while she was gone, but it is clear that he missed her. In the meantime, another fisherman finds the Chinga doll, who is burnt almost beyond recognition but still turns up in a trap.
Let me clear the air…
And I will just come out and say it…
Chinga is just…bad. There, I said it. And let me allow a moment for the collective fandom to beat me with the virtual wet noodle.
Whew, ok now that you’re done beating me with that wet noodle (geez, you can go a little easier next time), let’s talk about this episode, and what worked, and what didn’t.
Now, I love The X Files. I love Christ Carter. And I LUUUVVVV Stephen King! So X Files + Stephen King = one blissed out nerd, right?
Well, not for this nerd. There are some things I just love…
Like chocolate chip cookies. Macaroni and cheese. But a chocolate chip cookie macaroni and cheese casserole?
No, I think I will pass. Love those two things, but if you put them together, who can swallow that concoction?
And to me, this episode was a concoction that I just couldn’t swallow. In other words, we put chocolate chip cookies and macaroni and cheese together, and just got something weird and kind of gross too.
Normally, weird and gross are good, especially when associated with The X Files and Stephen King. But Chinga was not the good kind weird or gross. No, it was weird. And gross, too.
First of all, the acting. And I am not talking about the acting of the front runners, Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny. They were…well, they were Mulder and Scully. And I can’t really fault them for that. But they stuck out like sore thumbs in the weird conglomeration of Chris Carter and Stephen King. And I am not sure that Mulder and Scully belong in the King Universe, as awesome as they are.
The townspeople, in terms of acting, were uneven at best. The woman who played Melissa sounded like she was reading lines from a cue card, and throwing in some occasional tears, to induce sympathy (note: didn’t work, better luck next time, perhaps). The rest of the townspeople were just flat at worst, caricatures at best (especially that scene where the sheriff orders a lobster in the restaurant and tries to convince Scully to try the delicacy…really?!)
Which brings me to my next point. In any Stephen King book, the town is just a much a developed character, if not more of a developed character, than the people in the story. ‘Salem’s Lot, It, Needful Things and several other books immediately come to mind. However, the town in Chinga does not have the personality of any of King’s other towns. So Chinga is missing one of the great things about King: a small town with its own personality and dark secrets.
Ok, the rant is over for now. Believe it or not, I did like something about this episode.
Yes, Scully was favorite part of this episode!
Now, I may refer to Mulder as one of my show boos, which he is (sorry Raylan and Jax, hope you don’t get too jealous). But I think my favorite part of The X Files was (and still is) Scully. She made science cool. She was a bad ass who chased down bad guys (and girls) in her heels, and there was rarely a hair out of place. And a fellow soul eater…er…red head. She gave hope to me, and if I can ever be half as cool as Scully, I will consider my life to be an unparalleled success.
And this episode was heavy on the Scully. As stated before, I love Mulder. But seeing him get hung up on (gotta love those 90’s cell phones, yo) and rebuffed for the umpteenth time was priceless. Usually, Mulder is spot on, but for this episode, he was an epic fail, which was hilarious!
Who saved the day in this episode, you ask? Why, Scully of course! Even though the method was a little lame (the microwave? Really? Is this a doll or gremlin?), Scully was the one to defeat the bad guy er doll, and presumably, have everyone live happily ever after (although the vague ending may bring questions to that scenario). And Scully showed us all just how much of a rock star she really is.
Now, I may have said that Chinga was bad, which it is. But bad can also be good. Like Batman. And sex. So Chinga falls into the category of things, like sex and Batman, that are so awesome that even when they are bad they are still good. And there is nothing wrong in indulging in good bad. In fact, it even warms the soul.
Join me next week when I review and dissect Home, the episode so terrifying that (supposedly) no network will air it any more…tune in next week: same bat time, same bat channel!